11 November 2008

REVIEW: Morningwood - Sugarbaby EP

Taste Your Rating: 698.77/1000.00

This is the first part in a series of reviews where I review the first five bands that you retard goblins put in the comments. Upcoming is a review of The Depths.

But, honestly, we couldn't have started in a better place. Morningwood makes the kind of music that I imagine people make in prison in their heads when they're trying desperately to push out the ambient sounds of grunting from the other cells. Morningwood is a girl-fronted (her fucking name is Chantal for fuck's sake) power-pop band whose sexual confidence is matched only by what I can only assume is their quickly growing realization that, one day, they will die.

Let me clear this up. I'm not saying that I realize that they will die (I do). I'm not saying they deserve to die (they do). What I'm saying is that what I find most compelling about this album is that every member of this band will die. They will all be dead. For example, in one particularly masturbatory moment, Chantel Claret spells the name of the band: M-O-R-N-I-N-G-W-O-O-D. In that same moment, somewhere beneath the noise of powerchords and synthesizer runs, underneath the aural experience of that danceable little number, the music self-consciously spells something else: I-A-M-S-L-O-W-L-Y-D-Y-I-N-G-B-Y-V-I-R-T-U-E-O-F-M-Y-B-E-I-N-G-A-L-I-V-E.

This I find absolutely fascinating. The idea of a band that is at once perched atop life in the most artificially sexualized pose imaginable, perhaps a band even in the process of fucking as the songs take place, at the very same moment that the band is, in the grand scheme of human life (if not all life as we know it) about to be dead. Morningwood had their debut LP out a few years ago, and this is their second release--an EP, or extended player. They are also dying.

The first thing that happens is that the telemeres in the cells begin to slowly "fray" at the edges. This is a sign of cell aging. Then, as the cells age, they begin to lose function. This process is replicated throughout most of our body systems. At some point, the heart stops, and blood no longer flows to vital organs and tissues. When these tissues can't get oxygen or other important elements and nutrients, they too die, until we think of the whole person as dead. But when exactly does death occur? Does it occur when the heart stops beating? When the conscious brain refuses to function due to lack of oxygen? When does one die?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure about all of those things. But when Chantal Claret sings "She's undone / He can't cum / Still time for her to go and get some" as a puppet in the below video, all I can think of is the fact that, like all things, her youth will eventually fail her and that her body will die.

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